It’s been a while since I’ve posted so Happy New Year everyone. With the holidays and my ‘complication’ it’s been very busy; however Christmas was wonderful. It wasn’t a white Christmas, and actually pretty warm for December in Kansas, but it was fantastic. Delaney really got into opening presents, and when I wrapped them, she automatically thought she should unwrap them. It was very funny. She would get so excited when she had a gift and would tear into it them she’d go for the next, even if they weren’t her gifts. She also loved decorating the tree and thought it was a really neat game to hang the ornament, then take it down, and repeat. The older kids made out like bandits and I think everyone truly enjoyed spending time together.
Due to my skin graft my surgeries had to be postponed until I fully healed. As a result of this set back, I decided to reconsider having the hysterectomy in Houston. I asked Dr. Truong for a recommendation and he suggested I visit Dr. Morgan a gynecological oncologist in Wichita. So I had a visit right before Christmas and really liked her. She’s very open, honest, and easy to get along with. After our visit, I decided to go ahead and schedule the surgery sooner rather than later. Dr. Morgan thought there would be no issues having the hysterectomy before the reconstruction and agreed that getting out the potential items that were susceptible to cancer was better then leaving them in. So the surgery is scheduled for January 23rd at Wesley. I’ll be relieved to get this preformed and have the pathology back to reiterate that I’m completely cancer free.
The reconstruction should be able to take place sometime in March. I will more than likely need a follow up surgery after the implants are placed, to correct and make the final products look more uniform and real. During the reconstruction in March, I’m hoping Dr. Bauman can loosen the muscle under my arm where the lymph nodes and skin around the tumor were removed. He thinks he can help ease this discomfort, as it feels like a pulled muscle constantly.
Due to the skin graft I do now have a large oval shaped scar on the top of my right breast; so I’ve been considering having it covered with a tattoo after the healing is completely done of course. What I’m considering is a Pink Koi fish and pink butterfly around a cherry blossom branch. Inside the Koi and butterfly, would be pink ribbons. There is a lot of meaning behind the tattoo as the Koi represents perseverance in adversity and strength of purpose. Being a cancer survivor I have realized my purpose in life is to leave the world better then when I arrived. To help people know the truth of eternal life and to lead by example. The Kio also translates as "love" in English and is said to bring luck. Since Love has helped me fight the diagnosis, this is very powerful. God is love and through his love and the love of my family and friends, I’m in remission. Through God’s continued blessings, I will remain in remission.
The Butterfly represents endurance, change, hope, and life. It also is a sign of the life struggles that one has endured to emerge as a better person. As I’ve stated before, I truly feel like cancer has made me a better person. I really started living life as I realized how quickly it could be gone. I began appreciating the little things; I often overlooked the simple beauty of earth. The butterfly signifies rebirth and helps one to remember to take time and appreciate what we have and what really think about what we hope to be. Taking chemo, I had a chance to think a lot and hear stories of other survivors. The one thing I can say for certain, is I’m so grateful I’m a Christian because I know when I die, I will actually just be beginning to live my eternal life with the father. I often take for granted that others are Christians and know this truth; because I was raised with faith it’s second nature to me. However many people don’t know the peace God’s promises bring.
There was also a butterfly garden at MD Anderson and the meaning was very impactful. The plaque explained the project and said that butterflies and cancer patients were on the journey to hope and healing. I’ve included a link on this garden: http://www.texasmedicalcenter.org/root/en/TMCServices/News/2006/12-15/Butterfly+Garden+Celebrated.htm
The Cherry blossom signifies overcoming an obstacle in life. It is also a sign of femininity and beauty. Of course the pink ribbon is for breast cancer awareness. Putting all of these together on my ‘ugly’ scar and transforming it into a beautiful constant reminder of what I’ve learned through this journey, the love I have for God, my family, and friends, and to never give up. It will be a visual cue to always keep fighting and to help provide others strength in times of adversity. I haven’t decided undoubtedly that I will get a tattoo, however it’s something I’m seriously considering even though it may seem out of character for me. Mom bought me a shirt that says “yes these are fake, the real ones tried to kill me”; I thought this was funny and pretty much tells my story.
This battle has been a journey to self-discovery and has enabled me to have a deeper understanding of my purpose. Although I’ve faced low periods, I know when I needed him most the Lord carried me through. 2012 is the year of living life to it's fullest and being cancer free. Thank You God for My Continued Healing.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Monday, December 5, 2011
Skin Graft
I just wanted to put out a quick update. Saturday a week ago, I had a complication. Ended up in the hospital in Houston. We got back home Wednesday. On Friday Dr. Bauman called and wanted to see my first thing today. He also thought more than likely I’d have to get a skin graft. So mom and I arrived in Houston last night.
We went into the clinic at 8 am and I was in surgery by 1:45. I ended up with a skin graft from my scalp. The reason my scalp was used as opposed to my groin or thigh is for a few reasons. The first being that skin from the donor site in the upper part of the body would match my skin better. Secondly, it heals faster; thirdly, I don’t have to wear clothes on my head which could rub against the wound (I can wear a scarf or wig still to cover it somewhat though) and finally, Delaney is less likely to bump it on my scalp as opposed to my leg. She likes to cuddle, and to be held, so this was a very important reason for the decision as well. We asked if my hair would grow back and he said yes. So I chose to have my scalp used as there were many pros and few cons except its exposed more. However this too proves to be a pro as they want the wound left uncovered after 72 hours. Although both my scalp and breast look pretty wicked right now, they will soon both be healed.
I didn’t see Dr. Bauman after the surgery, however he spoke with mom and said the wound was deeper then he thought and was starting to get into the fatty tissue. It also wasn’t healing on its own; therefore it was even more critical that he performed the procedure before it infected the expander. I am in the hotel now. I will have to come back here next week for the stitches to be removed.
I still can’t believe this odd occurrence is happening; but as I’ve said several times now “At least I’m cancer free, so this isn’t life threatening, so I can deal with it much easier” I know God helps us and I know he has a plan. I believe this complication occurred as I needed it in order to help someone else in some way. Either during this trip, or some other time in my life, this was a necessary step in accomplishing this goal from God. This entire journey he has been with me and my faith has deepened through knowing it’s his plan. I’ve been much better at ‘letting go” and letting him handle what I have no control upon. Thank you God for my healing.
We went into the clinic at 8 am and I was in surgery by 1:45. I ended up with a skin graft from my scalp. The reason my scalp was used as opposed to my groin or thigh is for a few reasons. The first being that skin from the donor site in the upper part of the body would match my skin better. Secondly, it heals faster; thirdly, I don’t have to wear clothes on my head which could rub against the wound (I can wear a scarf or wig still to cover it somewhat though) and finally, Delaney is less likely to bump it on my scalp as opposed to my leg. She likes to cuddle, and to be held, so this was a very important reason for the decision as well. We asked if my hair would grow back and he said yes. So I chose to have my scalp used as there were many pros and few cons except its exposed more. However this too proves to be a pro as they want the wound left uncovered after 72 hours. Although both my scalp and breast look pretty wicked right now, they will soon both be healed.
I didn’t see Dr. Bauman after the surgery, however he spoke with mom and said the wound was deeper then he thought and was starting to get into the fatty tissue. It also wasn’t healing on its own; therefore it was even more critical that he performed the procedure before it infected the expander. I am in the hotel now. I will have to come back here next week for the stitches to be removed.
I still can’t believe this odd occurrence is happening; but as I’ve said several times now “At least I’m cancer free, so this isn’t life threatening, so I can deal with it much easier” I know God helps us and I know he has a plan. I believe this complication occurred as I needed it in order to help someone else in some way. Either during this trip, or some other time in my life, this was a necessary step in accomplishing this goal from God. This entire journey he has been with me and my faith has deepened through knowing it’s his plan. I’ve been much better at ‘letting go” and letting him handle what I have no control upon. Thank you God for my healing.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Complication
It’s almost funny, the below was the post I was working on Saturday before a ‘complication’ arose. At about 5 pm I noticed my right breast had developed a large blister. It large, covering about 20% of my breast and filled with fluid. (Very yucky and I have the photos so we can remember what it looked like and see the healing) I immediately called my reconstruction surgeon and was connected with the surgeon on call. He asked me to send a photo. Upon receiving it he directed me to go to the ER. He spoke with Dr. Wilhelm and it was decided that I should begin IV antibiotics. Dr. Wilhelm let me do it out patient as it was every 12 hours. I had two treatments at Kiowa and then Dr. Bauman emailed me and thought it would be best that I come to Houston. Stephen and I left around 11 am on Sunday.
Today I saw Dr. Bauman. He said he’s never seen anything like this and thought it was best to admit me to the hospital, put me on two different IV antibiotics, have a few other doctors’ visit, get an ultrasound and labs, have the wound dressed and treated several times a day, and see what happens over the next 24 hours. We’re hopeful that the area will be somewhat better by tomorrow and then I can be dismissed.
Dr. Bauman decided to drain the blister and remove the top layer of skin. He did this in office as thankfully I can’t feel anything in that area since my mastectomies. The fluid sample they took from the blister came back as sterile and apparently that is good. The wound doesn’t appear to be getting worse and Dr. Bauman will visit again tomorrow morning. I will receive another round of IV antibiotics around 2 am and we will see how I look. I asked about having surgery still on the 16th and originally, this morning Dr. Bauman said NO. Tonight however he wasn’t decided, so I said let’s just see how it looks tomorrow and then decide. So the surgery is uncertain at this point and is dependent upon the healing of this wound.
It’s so crazy that this happened as it’s such a bizarre thing. The cause isn’t known. It could be an allergic reaction, a burn (which I find odd as I would think it would have burned another areas too), or possibly some other random occurrence. They say we will probably never know the cause for certain……… What we do know is that the expanders do not appear to be affected right now. That is why they are so aggressively treating me as apparently if it gets into the expander it has to come out and heal, then be put back in at a later point. Right now they think it’s a surface wound, which I’m told is a positive.
Things can drastically change in a matter of minutes with this process however I am very lucky that this is really the only complication I’ve had thus far. I count my blessings daily as this entire journey could have been much more daunting. Thank you God for my healing.
Original post from Saturday:
It’s been a while since I’ve posted which is good as not much has happened. I’m still in remission, just getting my expanders filled, and trying to get my surgery schedule finalized. I was very blessed to find a plastic surgeon in Wichita. He was recommended by a member of my church family and his name is Dr. Tamir. He specializes in wound care and is truly an amazing and caring doctor. His staff is also exceptional. He agreed to help me with my expander fills. I ended up only needing to see him one time however that experience was wonderful.
Mom and I went back to Houston for a post op. The day before we met with Dr. Bauman I got a call from Dr. Lu’s office, my gynecological surgeon, and they had scheduled surgery for 12-16. Wow, was I surprised. When I originally asked about having surgery before the end of the year the teams acted like there was no way. Since there were two surgeons that only had Fridays as the same day for preforming operations, there were also many people trying to get procedures done before the end of the year, and my expanders needed to be fully expanded for a minimum of one month. Looking at all these factors, the doctors really didn’t think there would be openings until probably late January. So I wasn’t prepared to have the hysterectomy and the final reconstruction so close to Christmas. We weren’t sure if my expanders would be in place for a month so we confirmed that this was Ok with Dr. Bauman. He said that I could only have one more fill as my skin was getting too thin. He said maybe I should take this as an omen; that the stars aligned as he never would have thought things could have fallen in place for the surgery to be scheduled before the end of the year.
The 16th is awfully close to Christmas but if there are no complications we should be home by the 21st. We’ve been trying to decide how to best arrange this surgery trip and I think we’ve decided that Dad, Mom, and Grandma will go with me to Houston. Stephen will stay home with the kids as they have a lot going on with the Christmas Holiday break starting on the 16th. Then Stephen may take some time off or work from home for a week or so after I get back as I can’t lift over 10 pounds and Delaney is well over 20 pounds. It will be nice to bring in the New Year nearly done with surgeries but it also brings stress as the Holidays are already so busy. Since I decided to leave my worries with God and go with his will for my surgery, we’ve decided to go forward with this date and make the best of it.
We were able to reserve the large house we stayed in last time. It is very comfortable and as Ann, the previous owner and Cara’s Mom who currently owns that house says, “It’s filled with love and healing.” Both she and Cara are cancer survivors and now I’ve joined those ranks. I feel very blessed that the home was available as we are comfortable there, it’s easily accessible to the hospital, it’s a very safe area, and there is plenty of room for everyone. Thank you God for my Healing.
Today I saw Dr. Bauman. He said he’s never seen anything like this and thought it was best to admit me to the hospital, put me on two different IV antibiotics, have a few other doctors’ visit, get an ultrasound and labs, have the wound dressed and treated several times a day, and see what happens over the next 24 hours. We’re hopeful that the area will be somewhat better by tomorrow and then I can be dismissed.
Dr. Bauman decided to drain the blister and remove the top layer of skin. He did this in office as thankfully I can’t feel anything in that area since my mastectomies. The fluid sample they took from the blister came back as sterile and apparently that is good. The wound doesn’t appear to be getting worse and Dr. Bauman will visit again tomorrow morning. I will receive another round of IV antibiotics around 2 am and we will see how I look. I asked about having surgery still on the 16th and originally, this morning Dr. Bauman said NO. Tonight however he wasn’t decided, so I said let’s just see how it looks tomorrow and then decide. So the surgery is uncertain at this point and is dependent upon the healing of this wound.
It’s so crazy that this happened as it’s such a bizarre thing. The cause isn’t known. It could be an allergic reaction, a burn (which I find odd as I would think it would have burned another areas too), or possibly some other random occurrence. They say we will probably never know the cause for certain……… What we do know is that the expanders do not appear to be affected right now. That is why they are so aggressively treating me as apparently if it gets into the expander it has to come out and heal, then be put back in at a later point. Right now they think it’s a surface wound, which I’m told is a positive.
Things can drastically change in a matter of minutes with this process however I am very lucky that this is really the only complication I’ve had thus far. I count my blessings daily as this entire journey could have been much more daunting. Thank you God for my healing.
Original post from Saturday:
It’s been a while since I’ve posted which is good as not much has happened. I’m still in remission, just getting my expanders filled, and trying to get my surgery schedule finalized. I was very blessed to find a plastic surgeon in Wichita. He was recommended by a member of my church family and his name is Dr. Tamir. He specializes in wound care and is truly an amazing and caring doctor. His staff is also exceptional. He agreed to help me with my expander fills. I ended up only needing to see him one time however that experience was wonderful.
Mom and I went back to Houston for a post op. The day before we met with Dr. Bauman I got a call from Dr. Lu’s office, my gynecological surgeon, and they had scheduled surgery for 12-16. Wow, was I surprised. When I originally asked about having surgery before the end of the year the teams acted like there was no way. Since there were two surgeons that only had Fridays as the same day for preforming operations, there were also many people trying to get procedures done before the end of the year, and my expanders needed to be fully expanded for a minimum of one month. Looking at all these factors, the doctors really didn’t think there would be openings until probably late January. So I wasn’t prepared to have the hysterectomy and the final reconstruction so close to Christmas. We weren’t sure if my expanders would be in place for a month so we confirmed that this was Ok with Dr. Bauman. He said that I could only have one more fill as my skin was getting too thin. He said maybe I should take this as an omen; that the stars aligned as he never would have thought things could have fallen in place for the surgery to be scheduled before the end of the year.
The 16th is awfully close to Christmas but if there are no complications we should be home by the 21st. We’ve been trying to decide how to best arrange this surgery trip and I think we’ve decided that Dad, Mom, and Grandma will go with me to Houston. Stephen will stay home with the kids as they have a lot going on with the Christmas Holiday break starting on the 16th. Then Stephen may take some time off or work from home for a week or so after I get back as I can’t lift over 10 pounds and Delaney is well over 20 pounds. It will be nice to bring in the New Year nearly done with surgeries but it also brings stress as the Holidays are already so busy. Since I decided to leave my worries with God and go with his will for my surgery, we’ve decided to go forward with this date and make the best of it.
We were able to reserve the large house we stayed in last time. It is very comfortable and as Ann, the previous owner and Cara’s Mom who currently owns that house says, “It’s filled with love and healing.” Both she and Cara are cancer survivors and now I’ve joined those ranks. I feel very blessed that the home was available as we are comfortable there, it’s easily accessible to the hospital, it’s a very safe area, and there is plenty of room for everyone. Thank you God for my Healing.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Remission
Went to Dr. Greene, my MD Anderson Oncologist today. Got a good report and I am officially in remission as of Oct 4. Praise God. One odd thing though, is that after the final pathology came back, 20% of my tumor showed hormone receptive cancer as opposed to triple negative. So I actually had two different types or forms of cancer. She said it happens but it seems odd to me? I guess when they do the biopsy it only takes a core of the tumor so the entire tumor isn’t analyzed until it’s removed. As a result of this pathology finding, the doctor wants to put me on Tamoxifen, as it reduces hormone receptive cancer reoccurrence so could help me by about 30%? Or at least my oncologist tells me this.
She said it is actually good news; not so sure having two types of cancer is good news, but I’ll go with her theory, as there is additional treatment, such as Tamoxifen, they can do with me so that I can reduce my rates of reoccurrence. I’m very happy that I have this option; just surprised to have both triple negative and hormone receptive cancers. I’m just unique I suppose. When I told one of my best friends Sue she said I always was an overachiever and that made me laugh. God made us all different, and it makes the world a more interesting place. So I just keep making is more interesting is suppose.
Also I’m told my chemo was extremely effective as I only have 5% residual cancer; she said that is microscopic in the cancer world so chemo did phenomenally well for me. Oh the world of cancer, I learn something every day about this disease. J I’m happy though to be officially CANCER FREE…… Yeah.
I’m doing pretty well overall; I still have stitches. I am also finding reconstruction is going to be a daunting process; however being cancer free is wonderful. I hope to get surgery dates when I see my reconstruction surgeon tomorrow and gynecological oncologist Thursday. I have mixed feelings about doing surgery before or after the New Year. If I do it in early to mid-December, I will be done with this all and 2012 will be start fresh. A new chapter so to say for 2012. I also won’t have to pay that darn deductible again. Stephen laughs at me for this reason; however my oncologist said it today and when I had my ultrasound today she mentioned the same reason and said she’s heard that a million times as Cancer is expensive. LOL
I also don’t want to be hurried and pushing the reconstruction process or for us to be overwhelmed during the Holiday season. So I’m really torn on what to do and when to try and get them scheduled. So I’ve been praying for my doctors to have the guidance to know when to schedule surgery that is best for me. God always knows the right answers and has answered prayers thus far, so I figure I’ll give this up to him as well. J it really takes the weight off of my shoulder when I do this and through this incredible experience I’m really learning to listen to him and fully trust in his will.
We come home Friday and are so ready!! It seems like we’ve been gone for so long. Although the outcome has been successful; being gone from the kids has been hard. I’m so glad that we have such a loving, supportive family and community so that we can leave when necessary but know our children are well taken care of. Dad has done a fantastic job with Gavin and Arrington and Grandma and Grandpa Gillig helped so much with Delaney. Also the cards of support and encouragement that have been sent to Houston have been so uplifting. It seems they always arrive at just the right time.
Both Gavin’s and Arrington’s class also sent me cards or drawings. They were so sweet and I know that years from now we will look back at these and smile. It is so wonderful to know that the kids are being supported so thoroughly during this time as well. We imagine this is hard on them. All the changes and our time away. We try to include them. To be open and honest with them, to the degree that will not scare them but they will understand and feel secure. It’s a fine line sometimes however so we pray for divine wisdom for these conversations as well. This is similar to our adoption talks, as we want to say the ‘right’ things but as parents we don’t always know what those are. It’s kind of funny as when you are a kid you think your parents know everything but as parents often times we think we really don’t know much. Thank you God for my healing.
She said it is actually good news; not so sure having two types of cancer is good news, but I’ll go with her theory, as there is additional treatment, such as Tamoxifen, they can do with me so that I can reduce my rates of reoccurrence. I’m very happy that I have this option; just surprised to have both triple negative and hormone receptive cancers. I’m just unique I suppose. When I told one of my best friends Sue she said I always was an overachiever and that made me laugh. God made us all different, and it makes the world a more interesting place. So I just keep making is more interesting is suppose.
Also I’m told my chemo was extremely effective as I only have 5% residual cancer; she said that is microscopic in the cancer world so chemo did phenomenally well for me. Oh the world of cancer, I learn something every day about this disease. J I’m happy though to be officially CANCER FREE…… Yeah.
I’m doing pretty well overall; I still have stitches. I am also finding reconstruction is going to be a daunting process; however being cancer free is wonderful. I hope to get surgery dates when I see my reconstruction surgeon tomorrow and gynecological oncologist Thursday. I have mixed feelings about doing surgery before or after the New Year. If I do it in early to mid-December, I will be done with this all and 2012 will be start fresh. A new chapter so to say for 2012. I also won’t have to pay that darn deductible again. Stephen laughs at me for this reason; however my oncologist said it today and when I had my ultrasound today she mentioned the same reason and said she’s heard that a million times as Cancer is expensive. LOL
I also don’t want to be hurried and pushing the reconstruction process or for us to be overwhelmed during the Holiday season. So I’m really torn on what to do and when to try and get them scheduled. So I’ve been praying for my doctors to have the guidance to know when to schedule surgery that is best for me. God always knows the right answers and has answered prayers thus far, so I figure I’ll give this up to him as well. J it really takes the weight off of my shoulder when I do this and through this incredible experience I’m really learning to listen to him and fully trust in his will.
We come home Friday and are so ready!! It seems like we’ve been gone for so long. Although the outcome has been successful; being gone from the kids has been hard. I’m so glad that we have such a loving, supportive family and community so that we can leave when necessary but know our children are well taken care of. Dad has done a fantastic job with Gavin and Arrington and Grandma and Grandpa Gillig helped so much with Delaney. Also the cards of support and encouragement that have been sent to Houston have been so uplifting. It seems they always arrive at just the right time.
Both Gavin’s and Arrington’s class also sent me cards or drawings. They were so sweet and I know that years from now we will look back at these and smile. It is so wonderful to know that the kids are being supported so thoroughly during this time as well. We imagine this is hard on them. All the changes and our time away. We try to include them. To be open and honest with them, to the degree that will not scare them but they will understand and feel secure. It’s a fine line sometimes however so we pray for divine wisdom for these conversations as well. This is similar to our adoption talks, as we want to say the ‘right’ things but as parents we don’t always know what those are. It’s kind of funny as when you are a kid you think your parents know everything but as parents often times we think we really don’t know much. Thank you God for my healing.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Pathology
Got pathology back today; lymph nodes have NO cancer. Yeah. Also the chemo killed all but 5% of the cancer within the tumor. Yeah. However they are still up in the air on radiation. Yuck. They have a radiology committee meeting Friday and are going to discuss my case and give me their recommendation Friday afternoon. I don’t want radiation but I don’t want the cancer to come back either. So please pray for God’s guidance in my doctor’s recommendations.
I want to be sure I've done everything possible to prevent a re-occurrence however radiation will cause me to be in Houston for at least six more weeks and delay my reconstruction and hysterectomy. I've decided to try and give my worry to God as ultimately he makes all the decisions anyway. I am praying for him to guide my decision, as ultimately i can choose to have radiation even if the doctors say i should have it, and I pray I have the inner peace to know that my decision is his plan for my life.
As I ponder the past several months, I am surprised how quickly they have gone by. They say time flies when you are having fun; however I wouldn't consider these months fun but they certainly have been enlightening and a learning opportunity. God has shown himself in my life in ways I could have never imagined and he's given me glimpses into his plan for me that would I not had been diagnosed with cancer I might not have ever realized or known. Life has a funny way of working out, even if we don't think it's for the best at the time, it turns out to be part of the plan. Time seems to heal all wounds and helps us grow with knowledge and peace. I know that when I look back at this experience in a few years, I will see things differently but ultimately I want to keep a positive outlook through all this. Thank you God for my healing.
I want to be sure I've done everything possible to prevent a re-occurrence however radiation will cause me to be in Houston for at least six more weeks and delay my reconstruction and hysterectomy. I've decided to try and give my worry to God as ultimately he makes all the decisions anyway. I am praying for him to guide my decision, as ultimately i can choose to have radiation even if the doctors say i should have it, and I pray I have the inner peace to know that my decision is his plan for my life.
As I ponder the past several months, I am surprised how quickly they have gone by. They say time flies when you are having fun; however I wouldn't consider these months fun but they certainly have been enlightening and a learning opportunity. God has shown himself in my life in ways I could have never imagined and he's given me glimpses into his plan for me that would I not had been diagnosed with cancer I might not have ever realized or known. Life has a funny way of working out, even if we don't think it's for the best at the time, it turns out to be part of the plan. Time seems to heal all wounds and helps us grow with knowledge and peace. I know that when I look back at this experience in a few years, I will see things differently but ultimately I want to keep a positive outlook through all this. Thank you God for my healing.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Recovery
Well we’ve been in Houston for almost two weeks now. I had pre op appointments last Wednesday and mapping and anesthesia on Monday. We were planning to leave all the kids at home and for Dad to bring them this Thursday, but we ended up taking Delaney as Jon and Tori were going to Houston for a friend’s dad’s 60th birthday party so they were able to bring her home on Tuesday Oct 4. The day of my surgery.
Dad is planning to bring the kids to Houston this Thursday so they can visit. Delaney will stay but Gavin and Arrington will go back on Sunday or Monday as they need to go to school. We’re trying to find someone to ride with Dad, as taking all three kids by himself would be a challenge. I’m sure it will all work out but pray that someone will be available to help him with the trip.
We enjoyed our time in Houston before the surgery and also attended our friend’s dad’s birthday party. I was best friends with his sister Nicole and Jon was best Friends with Jason when we lived in Pearland. We hadn’t seen Stacey, their dad, in 20 years. Jason lives in Kiowa now and works for RSI but I hadn’t seen his sister Nicole in probably 18 years. It was great to see them all again. Then on Sunday we went to their beach house in Freeport and spent the day reconnecting. Delaney got to play in the ocean and she loved it. She was covered with sand and even thought she’d taste it (however it turned out she didn’t like it) the look on her face was priceless though.
I checked into the hospital at 5:45 AM on Tuesday Oct 4th and was in recovery by about 1:30. All went well and it did not appear that the lymph nodes had any cancer; however they had to be sent to pathology and those results should be back by Wednesday. They also had to take a little extra skin on the right side where the tumor was as the doctor wanted to be safe as opposed to leaving even one tiny cancer cell. I’m glad she made the choice to be cautious as I never what this disease back. The reconstruction doctor said taking the extra skin wouldn’t affect the outcome so I’m hopeful that turns out true.
When I woke up I was in extreme pain. It hurt to breath; they were concerned they might have punctured a lung when they did my spinal block. So X-Ray was called in. Of course my lung was fine, thanks goodness; however the pain wasn’t under control. It literally hurt to breath. Since I’m allergic to so many pain medications, it was hard for them to find something to give me. Dr. Truong had given me NUCYNTA for the tumor pain. However the pain management team could only give that at MD Anderson. So they were called in. In the meanwhile they gave me morphine and it did not even take the edge off the pain. Finally they gave me something stronger and it worked. The issue was however that it was only available via IV. I couldn’t go home with it so I had to have the pain management group evaluate and make a plan for me before I could be released. For a while we were not sure it if was going to get to go home that day or have to stay another night; I wanted to go home as one night in the hospital was enough for me because they wake you up every few hours and it is just really hard to sleep. The pain management team ended up doubling up on the Nucynta and gave me a few other pain controllers to make the pain tolerable. Believe me, it’s always there, and I have not been pain free, but I can at least function, somewhat. Before they found something that worked I was literally in tears just from breathing.
I came home with four drain tubes. I’m hopeful they will come out on Wednesday which is when I have my follow ups with reconstruction, surgery, and radiology. We will also find out during the follow ups about my pathology as hopefully it will be back by then. The drains are very uncomfortable and are held in place with stitches. I also have stitches across my breast, I’m told these won’t show much once the reconstruction is completed but right now it looks pretty brutal. There are also stitches under my arm where they took my two lymph nodes. So I sort of look like Frankenstein. It’s very interesting taking a bath, as I can’t get the antibiotic stripes on the drain tubes where they enter my ribs wet so we put that saran wrap that sticks to anything on over the drains. Dr. Bauman told us about this and it works surprisingly well. It’s also a full time job keeping up on the medication I have to take. It’s something every four hours with most times several medications at once. For the first few days home from the hospital I could barely function. I couldn’t hardly see, read, or type. Talk about horrified, all I could do was lay around and watch daytime TV. Yuck. By today though I’m much better and have been able to decrease some of the medications which make me able to function better. However if I have to choose between that pain and functioning I’ll give up the functioning until I’m better as that pain was almost unbearable.
Mom and Stephen have been taking turns cleaning the drain tubes, as we have to do that in the morning and evening. Then we have to write down the output amounts and also take my temperature. With this info, we take it to the doctor and if it’s under 30 ML for two days in a row my drains can come out. So I’m pretty sure they will be removed on Wednesday. The drains make it very difficult to sleep and they also get easily caught on things, so I have to be extra careful and we all know how clumsy I am. Having them removed will be such a relief as I will actually be able to sleep on my side again. Yeah
I did have a post op follow up on Friday with Dr. Bauman and he said things are looking good. He did put me on an additional antibiotic just to be on the safe side as there was some redness but other than that everything was OK. They also put some fluid in my expanders and they will put some more in them this Wednesday too. He said if all goes well, I could have my final reconstruction in two month, which would be great as I’d like to have all this done before the New Year. During my reconstruction I will also have my hysterectomy and then this chapter should be closed. Thank God.
The house we are staying at is great. It’s very spacious and comfortable. Ann, the ladies mom that owns the home came and visited Sunday. It was wonderful talking with her. She then brought us dinner on Saturday. I’ve also received several cards and flowers. They are so pretty and smell so good. Overall the experience has been different then I expected but not necessarily worse. I’m just grateful that my pain is under control and that I appear to be healing well. I’m anxious to get my pathology results, and I’m hopeful that they will be negative so that I don’t have to have radiation. It doesn’t seem like we’ve been here almost two weeks already but I guess times just flies. I appreciate all the prayers and I truly can feel everyone’s love and concern. Thank you God for my Healing.
Dad is planning to bring the kids to Houston this Thursday so they can visit. Delaney will stay but Gavin and Arrington will go back on Sunday or Monday as they need to go to school. We’re trying to find someone to ride with Dad, as taking all three kids by himself would be a challenge. I’m sure it will all work out but pray that someone will be available to help him with the trip.
We enjoyed our time in Houston before the surgery and also attended our friend’s dad’s birthday party. I was best friends with his sister Nicole and Jon was best Friends with Jason when we lived in Pearland. We hadn’t seen Stacey, their dad, in 20 years. Jason lives in Kiowa now and works for RSI but I hadn’t seen his sister Nicole in probably 18 years. It was great to see them all again. Then on Sunday we went to their beach house in Freeport and spent the day reconnecting. Delaney got to play in the ocean and she loved it. She was covered with sand and even thought she’d taste it (however it turned out she didn’t like it) the look on her face was priceless though.
I checked into the hospital at 5:45 AM on Tuesday Oct 4th and was in recovery by about 1:30. All went well and it did not appear that the lymph nodes had any cancer; however they had to be sent to pathology and those results should be back by Wednesday. They also had to take a little extra skin on the right side where the tumor was as the doctor wanted to be safe as opposed to leaving even one tiny cancer cell. I’m glad she made the choice to be cautious as I never what this disease back. The reconstruction doctor said taking the extra skin wouldn’t affect the outcome so I’m hopeful that turns out true.
When I woke up I was in extreme pain. It hurt to breath; they were concerned they might have punctured a lung when they did my spinal block. So X-Ray was called in. Of course my lung was fine, thanks goodness; however the pain wasn’t under control. It literally hurt to breath. Since I’m allergic to so many pain medications, it was hard for them to find something to give me. Dr. Truong had given me NUCYNTA for the tumor pain. However the pain management team could only give that at MD Anderson. So they were called in. In the meanwhile they gave me morphine and it did not even take the edge off the pain. Finally they gave me something stronger and it worked. The issue was however that it was only available via IV. I couldn’t go home with it so I had to have the pain management group evaluate and make a plan for me before I could be released. For a while we were not sure it if was going to get to go home that day or have to stay another night; I wanted to go home as one night in the hospital was enough for me because they wake you up every few hours and it is just really hard to sleep. The pain management team ended up doubling up on the Nucynta and gave me a few other pain controllers to make the pain tolerable. Believe me, it’s always there, and I have not been pain free, but I can at least function, somewhat. Before they found something that worked I was literally in tears just from breathing.
I came home with four drain tubes. I’m hopeful they will come out on Wednesday which is when I have my follow ups with reconstruction, surgery, and radiology. We will also find out during the follow ups about my pathology as hopefully it will be back by then. The drains are very uncomfortable and are held in place with stitches. I also have stitches across my breast, I’m told these won’t show much once the reconstruction is completed but right now it looks pretty brutal. There are also stitches under my arm where they took my two lymph nodes. So I sort of look like Frankenstein. It’s very interesting taking a bath, as I can’t get the antibiotic stripes on the drain tubes where they enter my ribs wet so we put that saran wrap that sticks to anything on over the drains. Dr. Bauman told us about this and it works surprisingly well. It’s also a full time job keeping up on the medication I have to take. It’s something every four hours with most times several medications at once. For the first few days home from the hospital I could barely function. I couldn’t hardly see, read, or type. Talk about horrified, all I could do was lay around and watch daytime TV. Yuck. By today though I’m much better and have been able to decrease some of the medications which make me able to function better. However if I have to choose between that pain and functioning I’ll give up the functioning until I’m better as that pain was almost unbearable.
Mom and Stephen have been taking turns cleaning the drain tubes, as we have to do that in the morning and evening. Then we have to write down the output amounts and also take my temperature. With this info, we take it to the doctor and if it’s under 30 ML for two days in a row my drains can come out. So I’m pretty sure they will be removed on Wednesday. The drains make it very difficult to sleep and they also get easily caught on things, so I have to be extra careful and we all know how clumsy I am. Having them removed will be such a relief as I will actually be able to sleep on my side again. Yeah
I did have a post op follow up on Friday with Dr. Bauman and he said things are looking good. He did put me on an additional antibiotic just to be on the safe side as there was some redness but other than that everything was OK. They also put some fluid in my expanders and they will put some more in them this Wednesday too. He said if all goes well, I could have my final reconstruction in two month, which would be great as I’d like to have all this done before the New Year. During my reconstruction I will also have my hysterectomy and then this chapter should be closed. Thank God.
The house we are staying at is great. It’s very spacious and comfortable. Ann, the ladies mom that owns the home came and visited Sunday. It was wonderful talking with her. She then brought us dinner on Saturday. I’ve also received several cards and flowers. They are so pretty and smell so good. Overall the experience has been different then I expected but not necessarily worse. I’m just grateful that my pain is under control and that I appear to be healing well. I’m anxious to get my pathology results, and I’m hopeful that they will be negative so that I don’t have to have radiation. It doesn’t seem like we’ve been here almost two weeks already but I guess times just flies. I appreciate all the prayers and I truly can feel everyone’s love and concern. Thank you God for my Healing.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Surgery Time
Our vacation was wonderful. Relaxing and cool. River rafting was a blast. I loved it and no one fell out of the boat. The sulpher springs were interesting. One of those things that was an experience but I wouldn't go out of my way to do it again. It was nice to be able to just be with nature and enjoy the scenery. It was very easy to see all of God's creations and the beauty they behold. It's the simple things I've learned to love and appreciate since this diagnosis and part of this is just being. Of course we missed the kids, but they had a great time with Grandma Barb and Grandpa Steve. They were happy to see us when we got home and I think we were all ready to be back in our own beds.
Time seems to fly and the surgery date is almost here. I finished my last chemo treatment on September 1. I was supposed to have chemo on August 29th however my count was too low; therefore I had to take injections for three days, and get retested on Thursday. Luckily the medication did the trick and I was able to receive, what I hope to be my final chemo treatment in my life. (I’m planning for the best and thinking positive as I don’t want to do this again). We are scheduled to leave Tuesday September 27th. I have pre op visits on the 28 and 29 and mapping on Oct 3. Then the surgery will be Oct 4.
I’m anxious to get this over with but I’m also very apprehensive to leave the children for three weeks. Dad plan to cares for Gavin and Arrington and Grandpa Bev and Grandpa Bert will take care of Delaney. I’m hoping they will be able to come to Houston for a few days around Saturday October 8th and then Delaney will stay with us and the older ones will go home on Monday as they have school. I’m concerned that they will have adjustment issues, as this is a large stressor on everyone. Please pray for them that God will provide them comfort while their Mom, Dad, and Grandma are away. I know this has to be done, as I want the best outcome possible, so I’m going to the best doctors in the country, however it hurts just thinking about leaving them for so long.
We won’t know about radiation until 5-7 days after the surgery as apparently it can take that long for the finally pathology report to come back. I just take it one day at a time, as if I have to have radiation, then that is another 6 weeks in Houston. I can’t imagine it, but I will do what it necessary to be here for the long term. It’s my life we’re fighting for so I can’t sit by and not do my best to save it.
I am lucky enough to have a cousin, Morgan, who lives in Houston and works at MD Anderson. She was gracious enough to look at some apartments for us and we were about to rent one however at the last minute things changed. We were so blessed to get a wonderful house in Houston to stay at. Stephen’s mom’s friend’s daughter lives overseas and they lease their home while they are away. However they have allowed us to stay there during this surgery for a very minimal charge within our budget. It’s a beautiful home with plenty of room for the kids to come visit. It looks very comfortable and clean. We are so pleased that we will be in a nice safe area and are able to enjoy a home that will be our second home for several weeks. I was stressed over finding a living arrangement that would work, so this is a huge relief and an answer to our prayers. It’s different then going to a place for a few days, we’ll be there at least three weeks so we needed kitchen facilities, space, and most importantly somewhere clean and comfortable for me to recover. This has all that and more. Many thanks go out to my mother in law for helping us get this home and to her friend Ann and her daughter Cara for allowing us to stay here.
I have been working on getting precertification for my surgery for a week now. You’d think MD Anderson would have done this already, as the surgery has been scheduled since March, but for some reason they waited until the last minute. It was rather funny today when the representative called me as she said they didn’t have a produced from Dr. Baumann the plastic surgeon yet and did I know what it would be. I thought, seriously, you are calling the patient when you could have walked down the hall to the doctor’s staff? That was totally odd to me, so I politely, or maybe not so politely, told her to call the doctor as I had no idea exactly what it was called all I knew is what was being done. I can’t stand not being prepared and I’m very surprised MD Anderson waited so long to get this pre-certified by my insurance.
Oh the fun of dealing with doctors, insurance, and Cancer. However I’m on the downhill slide and can’t wait for this chapter in my life to be complete. Things have been really busy, getting ready for the trip and finishing up last minute details; however the days keep ending before I can get it all done. Isn’t that the way life sometimes is? I’m just so grateful that we have so many family members and friends willing to help us. I don’t know how many times I’ve said this but support and prayer are critical to making through this journey positive and successful.
My post my shot feeling the stress but then I take a breath and Thank God for my healing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)